


Some Days.

by milaconspires



Category: VIXX
Genre: Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not Beta Read, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 08:50:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4341995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milaconspires/pseuds/milaconspires
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most days are bad for Taekwoon. Some days, not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Days.

Most days Taekwoon thinks about killing himself. No remorse, no takes backs. Just doing it.  How would it feel to not feel a thing. Just void.  
Most days, though the thought just passes, gets out of his system after elaborate planning. Just like a hangover.

Most days he thinks how life would be without his illness. Just pure freedom of action and speech brought to him by a healthy brain. How far would he go in life, how many opportunities would he claim.  
Most days though it all goes away when it's time for his next medication. He wouldn't have it any other way, would he?

Most days he feels too tired, back hurting, shoulders always slouching. No matter how much he tries to ignore it, it's always there reminding him of something. He's not entirely sure of what.  
Most days though, he gets too absorbed in daily domestic life that the pain fades into nothing more than a slight buzz.

Most days he doesn't feel anything. He can see and notice a lot of things, but they fail to reach him, touch him. They just happen, like a movie watched through a veil through a window in someone else's house.  
Most days though, he feels that tug inside of him, of things demanding to be felt, sometimes like a gentle wave washing the shore, other times like a storm raging inside his ribcage.

But some days, and those are the days he loves the most, he feels full of hope, like he's got a renewable source of sunshine hiding just a smile away.   
Those days he decides to spend with Wonsik. Those are the days he's devoted to him, because he always deserves only the best he can offer.  
Wonsik doesn't deserve to see him broken, struggling, reaching out into life, because he is a source of immeasurable energy and light that shines through all of Taekwoon's storms and reminds him that there is always calm in the end.

He knows damn well that just Wonsik is not enough of a cure for all he's got rolling around his brain, but he sure as hell makes him want to try a little harder. He wants to be as good for Wonsik as Wonsik is for him.

Most days, it's Taekwoon and his head.

Some days, it's Taekwoon and his head and Wonsik.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language and sometimes i forget how to English, i hope it’s readable and not so much cringe-worthy. Also posted on my [tumblr](http://wontaeked.tumblr.com/post/124084332795/some-days-pairing-wontaek-warnings-suicidal).


End file.
